In 2013, wandering aimlessly through Walmart on a quest for new kitchen gear, I stumbled upon a mini-jackpot. However, it would take 12 years for me to recognize it. I found a purple bella toaster at an astonishingly low price of $9.95. Purple—because life’s too short for beige appliances and, also, “SKOL Vikings!”
With zero hesitation and a Minnesota Vikings sticker, we inducted the toaster into superfan kitchen badassery. Built for Pop-Tarts and Eggos of a college dorm, I’ll be damned if that little toaster didn’t last 12 years!
This toaster powered through more than a decade of artisanal avocado toasts and everything bagels.
Surviving the chaos of a Denver move and braving the altitude of Colorado mountain living, this toaster gave zero toasts about the odds. Even as we opened our home and our life to the public, hundreds of Airbnb guests inevitably paused mid-bite in disbelief, “Wait, is that seriously a Vikings toaster?” Damn right it is.
Twelve solid years, hundreds of slightly burnt bread products, and more houseguest praise than it had any right to claim. And yet, like most of us hitting middle age, it’s starting to slow down. Now, it toasts at its own pace and occasionally requires an encouraging smack on the ass.
Our New bella Toaster
Now, as we prep for our next adventure—downsizing into an RV—our trusty purple warrior is finally, gloriously tapping out. But legends never truly die; they evolve.
How will this icon of my countertop legacy be replaced? With another bella toaster, obviously. Because loyalty, sarcasm, and a deep appreciation for budget-friendly rebellion run thick through these veins.
Here’s to the “Little Toaster That Could”—$10, twelve years, countless laughs, and proof positive that cheap, purple, and trustworthy never go out of style.
How long before this one gets a Vikings sticker? 🙂
